SUFFER IN SILENCE TV

My mind is a constant battleground and my thoughts are always at war. That’s when I’m reminded that misery loves company. It’s so tempting to stay in bed and do nothing all day long. I still pray and talk to Him every day.Īt times getting out of bed and leaving my apartment can be the biggest challenge. How can He be enough when He isn’t physical? How can He be enough when I constantly feel alone? But even with my faith being tested more than ever, I still continue to give Him my all. I do my best to keep my faith but in those moments, it feels like God isn’t enough. In my moments of despair and loneliness, my mindset shifts to negative thoughts and wanting to give up.

SUFFER IN SILENCE TV

Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for not having to worry about my bank account and spending money makes me feel good but my 50-inch TV doesn’t keep me warm at night and it won’t be with me when I die. Call me crazy but money doesn’t make me happy. I just got my first apartment and a few months ago I woke up to five figures in my bank account. Even when I invite two of my friends to hang out with me I still end up alone. When I was by myself on the strip all I could do was laugh. That moment was a microcosm of everything I had experienced the past few months. I was slightly annoyed but I got over it pretty quickly. I didn’t want any part of that so I told them to go ahead. Towards the end of the night, my friends went back to the hotel to spend some time with a couple of escorts. Although I was grateful to go to Vegas for the first time in two years, I still ended up alone. That trip ended up being a complete waste of my time and money. I told them I would pay for gas and the hotel. My inspiration said, ‘The top isn’t lonely if you bring your friends with you.’ I wanted to go to Vegas so I decided to invite two of my friends. I didn’t want to go back to old habits but it was the only thing allowing me to get by. I was going to continue smoking weed and drinking when things became too overwhelming. I didn’t care about being sober once I lost my sobriety at 13 months. When my anxiety became overwhelming, I started to self-medicate. I tried to delay the inevitable for as long as I could. Regardless of what my mom told me, it felt like a step back.Īdmitting I needed help wasn’t easy. I was never one to let the stigma affect me but once I came to the conclusion that it was best for me to go back on medication and seek a therapist, it hit me. I should know because I experienced this first hand. The stigma attached to mental illness is very real and it causes many people to suffer in silence. Depression affects nearly 16 million Americans every year.

Suffer in silence